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A DAY & NIGHT OF FOOD & ADVENTURE IN IBIZA WITH RENOIR GUIDES TOUR 3

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It was a perfect day. Bernadette and I drove to the ferry and boarded an 8 am boat to Ibiza. We landed at the old familiar dock and went down the street to Mar y Sol Cafe. Since opening in the twenties, this has been the spot to grab a good coffee and breakfast, watch people, and meet people. "Meet you at Mar y Sol" is the standard reply for a discreet or otherwise rendezvous.

It was also the favoured place for the Nazis and the SS who from this vantage point at the café could watch whoever came off the boats, escaping Jews were the prizes. In the 1940s, if I were here I would have to hide, spies were everywhere, not only Nazis but Franco's agents also going back to the Spanish Civil War.

Bogie would have felt at home here, as Ernest Hemingway. Errol Flynn would sail his yacht here and hang at the Mar y Sol before he went into the Ibiza Town bars for another debauchery day and night.

But now Bernadette and I are enjoying our coffees, hers a Cafe Americano and mine a Cortado. The waiter forgets to bring me my pan Moreno with queso (brown bread and cheese), and I tell him with theatrical scorn that I am the infamous Spanish food critic Jonathon D. Lipsin, and the review is going pretty badly. I am jesting, and we laugh as he recoils in horror. I let it go and decided I didn't need the bread and carbs.

Soon, Michael Bennett arrives to pick us up for our Magical Mystery Tour.

Michael is also Miguel Renoir and DJ MikeyB, and this is the 4th time we are getting together in a few years. Michael, with his many aliases, is the mastermind behind the Renoir Spanish Food Guide and, as a Brit, is very enamoured with all things Spanish, not least being her gastronomic delights. He is also a superb cook himself and makes mean tapas.

Michael takes us on adventures in Ibiza once or twice a year, usually with his buddies from England. He knows every nook and cranny of the Island.

Today, he confesses that he has no plan and will go with the flow, which is my favourite method of adventure. His car is a new rental BMW, and we relax in the air conditioning. We are effortlessly on our way. Sade softly sings her version of the Thin Lizzy song "Still in Love with You." Pretty soon, we are out of the traffic of Ibiza town and gliding down ancient country roads lined by magical stone walls and fig trees.

Our first stop is Can Tixedo Art café, which is what you might call off the beaten track and sits on the crossroads in Buscastells; it is one of those local spots that attract a loyal following from long-time residents & tourists in the know.

It offers a real family vibe, a legendary tapa menu, beautiful art for sale on the walls, and live entertainment at various points throughout the week. It's a true Ibiza gem in the heart of the countryside, a million miles from the tourist resorts.

There is a small chapel opposite.

We then move on to the country cafe Can Cosmi, located at a crossroads where many country cafes are located. This bar is legendary for tortilla espagnole, but we are an hour too early, as they start serving food at 1 pm.

As we are veteran Zen travellers, "no worries", and we head up a narrow country road covered with almond and carob trees to the coast with breathtaking views where there is a wooden chiringuito in the pine forest called Cafeteria Can Jordi because I have a desire for grilled fish and we will indeed find it here.

Once again, I am stymied because nothing is open before 1 pm, but we don't mind because the view is fantastic. We were here a few years ago with Michael as we stared out across the deep blue sea to North Africa.

No problem, as we get in the car again and drive to a special spot, Hostal La Torre (hostals in Spain can be anything from a basic hostel to a trendy hotel), a favourite place to watch the sunset; Michael has stayed here before.

We relax in front of one of the incredible views from the Island, looking out across Illa Sa Conillera as I sip a shandy and eat a toasted croissant with cheese and ham to keep my blood sugar in check.

We stop at Sa Capella, one of the best restaurants in Ibiza, on the outskirts of Sant Antoni de Portmany. There, we marvel at the 16th-century Chapel, a cavernous gastronomic destination.

This is considered one of the most delightful restaurants on the Island of Ibiza. However, it only opens at 8 pm. I will one day enjoy this place.

I tell Michael I have my sights set on a grilled fish platter in a chiringuito on the beach, where I can swim in the sea after lunch. "No problem," he winks. I have the perfect place. It is Cala Gracio, a couple of kilometres from Sant Antoni town, and it has a reasonable chiringuito right on the beach, which is perfect.

We head there, and it is perfect. First, we parked and walked down to the tiny sister bay of Cala Gracioneta, which is very busy because of the extremely popular trendy restaurant El Chiringuito. This is a good, safe bay for young children.

We walk along the sea cliffs beach, clambering down stone steps and rocks until we arrive at the perfect Ibicencan chiringuito, Restaurant Sa Bresca.

We order a grilled fish, seafood platter, and some drinks, looking out onto the beach metres away. The fish is dorada (gilthead sea bream) merluza (hake) atún (tuna) calamare (squid) almejas (clams) mejilliones (mussels) cangrejo (crab) and gambas (shrimp). I sip an agua con gas, enjoying it immensely. Bernadette, a vegan, enjoys her salad. Michael and I share the platter.

I want a crema Catalana for dessert, but all they have is a frozen version, which I scoff at until they mention they can soak it in whisky. That, I haven't tried before, they bring the Catalan version of crème brûlée and then pour what appears to be a generous amount of pure whisky, at least two shots….

It was a magnificent antidote to the seafood platter. The heavy hit of alcohol now stones me, but I know the answer. I run into the sea and swim some 500 strokes evenly, after that, I am rather stoned, but happy.

We head out on the road again because Michael has a surprise. After many country roads, he eventually pulls up at an infamous and legendary place: Tony Pike's Hotel, now known as Pikes Ibiza, a luxury hotel in Ibiza.

The hotel, cited as one of the most famous or infamous hotels on the Island, developed a notorious reputation for hedonism in the 1980s and is associated with being a playground for the rich and famous.

At the hotel, this dude looks strangely familiar. I realised I had met my former self in a Back to the Future moment, except that I was way more remarkable, and I told my doppelganger that It's not the having the fro or how long it is, but how you carry it, I told him. Wear it like you are Genghis Fucking Khan, I said, or at least Napoleon Dynamite.

The hotel is best known for being the location of the filming for George Michael and Wham! 's 1983 hit Club Tropicana and for Freddie Mercury's 41st birthday bash in 1987, cited as one of the most lavish parties ever to be held in Ibiza. Many orgies and drug-fuelled parties took place here. We wandered happily around the hotel, even going into Freddie's old suite and checking it out. Michael confides he has been to many parties here.

I loved the sign in the hotel car park. You can check-in, but you can never leave, as that is a line from the famous Eagles song Hotel California, and I begged for a photo in front of it.

After, we head to a villa in Sant Antoni which Michael's friends have rented. There, with his friends and their delightful young daughters and baby son we throw ourselves in the villa swimming pool and splash merrily in the shade.

I tell the amused girls I'm in a Mary Poppins movie, listening to their perfect English accents. They smile patronisingly.

After an hour of swimming and hanging out, we get ready to go out to a famous old Spanish restaurant in Sant Antoni called Es Ventall now run by the talented young son of the owners, José Miguel Bonet, that draws from the tradition of Spain yet adds a modern twist.

There, we dine and feast on Andalucían gazpacho (cold vegetable and tomato-based soup)

Coca de algarroba con escalibada, aguacate, sardina ahumada, berenjena asada y emulsión de ajo negro (home made carob bean coca (Ibiza flatbread) with avocado, smoked sardine, roasted aubergine and black garlic emulsion).

Later a fideuá de pescado y marisco follows.

Catalunya, the northeastern part of Spain, has a traditional dish called fideuà, made with short lengths of dry pasta called fideos. Instead of boiling the noodles in Italian style, the Catalan way is to cook them with only a tiny amount of liquid in a wide paella pan. Here, the noodles are browned in olive oil with the addition of saffron. There is a generous amount of Pescado and Mariscos piled on top.

We are all too full for dessert, having also had a big lunch on the beach. Michael will drive us back to the port in Ibiza Town to catch a midnight ferry back to Formentera.

Ibiza is not a simple place like its sister island, Formentera; it has many aspects. If you are young, you fly to Ibiza. As soon as you step off the plane, you head to the party towns of Sant Antoni de Portmany or Platja de'n Bossa near Ibiza Town and take part in a drug-induced rave party scene where, after copious amounts of drugs and alcohol and listening to house and techno music spun by world-famous DJs you find yourself on a floor somewhere entirely out of it, next to someone, having no idea who they are.

There is that aspect, then there is the campo (countryside) and beautiful small bays with traditional chiringuitos giving the old País feeling of a time a hundred years ago, and then there are the chic restaurants serving incredible food at incredible prices.

Finally, there is the city feel of Eivissa (Ibiza Town), the traffic, and the hustle. After a while, you'll say, "I am glad to be back in Formentera."

I fall asleep on the boat; I'm tired but happy.

Thank you once again, Miguel Renoir!

Words © Jonathon Lipsin

Returning to the Island made Jonathon relive his early favourites in music. These mixes have some of them.

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MIXCLOUD MUSIC - Mikeyb



RENOIR SPANISH GUIDES
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